The Boondocks: The madness continues
by treblegirl1
Summary: From mall shootings to cat adoptions, Huey, Riley, Grandad, Tom and Jazmine continue to endure the crazy world we live in. This is a Boondocks story meant to resemble the show. Extremely offensive. Proceed with caution. Some fluff. Feel free to ship if you want to.
1. Chapter 1

Once again this is my new story It's a crazy world. I didn't really have much of a summary for it because each new chapter will have a different plot. I have so many 'episodes' plotted out already and have some already finished. This chapter is pretty tame on the offense level but the next one is really offensive to the sensitive. Each chapter will have an episode title an summary because it's fun. No need for a disclaimer you already know Aaron McGruder owns the Boondocks. (And created it. Thank god for him) Btw the bold italicized parts are Huey narrating. Other narrations are omniscient. I think this is easiest for me to update because since every chapter something different is going on I don't have to think 'whats next in the plot?' So looke forward to a lot of new content.

"You don't have to call"

New neighbors move in and Huey thinks they are selling something illegal. Also Huey finally gets a cell phone but _someone_ keeps calling and pestering him.

_**To most people the idea of new shoes or new material possessions bought from companies that exploited its workers and violated human rights was exciting...I was one of the exceptions. Even if the companies were ethical I still don't like most material items. There's so much more I could do with my money than to spend it on a pair of the newest sneakers that niggas is killing themselves over.**_

Grandad, Riley and Huey was in Foot Locker at Woodcrest Mall. Grandad was looking at shoes and was asking Riley his opinion of them. Robert pulled on some new purple and blue Jordans. Huey sat boredly in a seat close to the door.

"How these look boy? Do I look like a _playa_? Don't I look _fly_?"

"Please, Grandad. Don't use the word fly and... them shoes is nice and all but... they don't look right on you."

"Why?"

"Cause you an _old_ nigga and only _new_ niggas should wear them shoes, no offense."

"Boy! You grandaddy looks good! Just for that I ain't buying you nothing."

"What! I was telling the truth you look like a old nigga in them shoes. No disrespect."

While the two sat there and bickered, Huey's eye wandered over to the bookstore across from them.

"Huey! You want some new shoes boy cause your brother over here is being a _hater_!"

"What! You call _me_ a hater over _Huey_. I know you don' lost your mind now Grandad."

"No thanks. Can I go to that store over there?" He tilted his head towards it.

Grandad moved his hand in a dismissing motion.

"I don't care, boy. Riley! Bring me those orange Nikes." Riley picked up the plain bright orange shoe with a face of disgust and brought it over to Grandad.

"Ugh! This ugly shoe don't even look good by itself, how the hell it's gon look good on you!"

"Boy! Shut the hell up! With yo disrespectful ass! Put these shoes on my feet."

"Ugh Grandad! You got corns on yo toes."

"Boy close your mouth and come put it on me!"

"Pause."

~~~ Huey in the Bookstore~~~

Huey walked into the bookstore where there was a young, white brunette reading a thick book and she looked up at Huey with a perky smile.

"Oh hi cutie! How are you? You lost? The foot locker is across from here."

"Yeah. I know." Huey walked to the back of the book store he walked passed the biography section. He walked towards the nonfiction section.

Huey read the names of the books that his fingers passed over.

"The Art of war...On my back...Life Lessons...Revolution Possible..."

He looked at some more books and picked two and brought them to the counter where the perky brunette looked up and smiled perkily.

"Hi cutie! Ooh look at these! These are quite large books! Do you plan on reading them both?"

"Why else would I buy them?" The girl shrugged and continued scanning the books.

"$47.18 is your total cutie. Hey...what's your name?"

"Why? Are you a secret agent?" Huey looked at her suspiciously and handed her a 50 dollar bill.

"Ha-ha-ha. No! You must be smart to be reading all these historical books and stuff. By the way I'm Lauren." She was bagging up his books and handed him his change.

"Thanks. Huey."

"Hope to see you soon Huey Cutie!" She smiled and waved at him.

White folks think every short black person is _cute_. I bet if she saw me in about 7 years she wouldn't think I was cute. She'd probably call the police. Or want to...never mind. He didn't want to think about that particular thing. Huey took one of his books out of his bag and began reading. All of a sudden someone bumped into him hard. The other person began to yell at him.

"Ay! Watch where you going motherfucker or—oh it's Huey! What's up man!"

Huey nodded his head in greeting then looked at Ed Wuncler the third and Gin Rummy standing beside him in their I'm-bout-to-fuck-shit-up gear.

"Why are yall here..and dressed like that."

"I come to get revenge on this Korean bitch. I ain't gon kill her or nothing I just want to scare her and shit. Rummy here is along for the ride."

"I haven't did anything exciting in over a month. I haven't shot anything up in over a week. It's long overdue."

"What? Yall can't just-you know what? Why don't you wait two minutes to do whatever yall about to do and let me get Riley and Grandad out."

Ed and Rummy looked at each other.

"You got two minutes." Rummy spoke in his serious tone. Huey ran into the Foot Locker where Grandad had just finished buying his next pair of shoes.

"Grandad we gotta go. Ed and Rummy here and they brought guns."

"What! Damn! I wanted to go to Victoria's Secret and talk to that sweet cutie pie-"

"Grandad...There's no time. I told them to wait at least two minutes before they started shooting shit up so I can get you and Riley outta here and—wait. Where is Riley?"

"He just went to the bathroom."

"Well I'll get Riley and you leave." Huey ran off to the bathroom. He saw Riley walk away as the urinal flushed and Huey walked in.

"Ugh! Nigga why you watching me pee!"

"Riley shut your dumb ass up! We gotta go. Ed and Rummy about to shoot shit up."

"Shoot shit up?"

"Yeah...Shoot shit up!"

"When?"

All of a sudden they heard gunshots and the sound of glass breaking and people screaming.

"Dammit. Well at least we know the gunmen and they won't shoot us." Riley said optimistically.

"Yeah but they shooting at an old, bitter Korean lady."

"Aw shit it's a Korean store...they gon die. Them Koreans always armed and ready to pop off."

"We gotta get out of here before they close the doors and block the exits."

They walked out the bathroom and heard an alarm.

"Too late. Damn."

About 12 yards down, there was shooting and glass everywhere. There were people who were mostly white and suburban sitting down against the wall with their kids scared out of their minds. Then Ed and Rummy step out from behind a wall and began shouting at a Korean woman with a fully automatic weapon and her daughter and son who had semi' automatics.

"You motherfucker! You give me money! I did job right!"

"No you didn't you yella' Chinese bitch!"

The lady, now even angrier at his statement, stood on top of a table and began shooting what seemed to be hundreds of bullets in their general direction. When she stopped shooting she screamed,

"I Korean motherfucker!"

"Damn. This bitch shooting at us! Man Rummy! I didn't think she would actually shoot at us!"

Rummy was silent as Ed sounded like he was almost in tears.

"Damn...that bitch gangsta! She shooting up this bitch like what! Got Ed crying and shit! Hope he don't shit on hisself! Ay Huey! You think anybody would notice if I took some shoes?"

~~~~2 hours later~~~~~

_**The police had shown up and the Korean woman was taken into custody. Ed and Rummy received no consequences. Though Grandad seemed happy that me and Riley were okay, he had another bizarre reaction. The morning after the mall shooting fiasco and Grandad claimed he had a surprise for me and he told me and Riley to wait for him outside of school instead of walking home.**_

It was 3:00 and the bell at J. Edgar hoover rang about 5 minutes ago. Huey, Riley, and Jazmine stood outside of the campus and waited for Grandad. Tom was late on a case so he couldn't pick Jazmine up today, so he called Robert to pick Jazmine up. Usually they would walk home but this morning grandad told them to wait outside so he can pick them up personally. Why? They had no idea. It probably had to do with the surprise he had for them.

"I Wonder what Mr. Freeman's surprise for you two are? Ooh maybe it's a bike or ooh...maybe it's a pet like a puppy or something! That would be so great!"

"Uh...no it won't. I want rims, a chain and some shoes and some clothes. Yeeeah! That would be off da chain! I can't wait!"

"All I want is my own room. I don't need anything else." Huey stated matter-of-factly.

"I want another kitty." Huey gave her a look.

"A Cat? Them demon pets. Man I wish grandad _would_ get us a _damn_ cat! I ain't feeding it. When it piss everywhere I ain't cleaning it."

"Like your sheets when you have a bad dream." Huey muttered in a low voice. Jazmine giggled.

"That was one time. Why you gotta bring up old shit, Huey?! Man, fuck!" Jazmine gasped.

"Riley. That's terrible language!"

"So what!"

Suddenly Grandad arrived in Dorothy playing some Al Green looking almost chill and relaxd.

_I'm I'm so in love with you..._

"Hey grandad."

"What's up Grandad!"

"Hi Mr. Freeman!"

Grandad only nodded his head in response. Grandad turned the radio down. He seemed to be in a good mood. Despite what just happened, Riley also seemed to be in a good mood. Jazmine was as happy as always. Huey was...well he wasn't scowling.

Riley and Jazmine sat in the back of the car.

"Ay grandad! What's this box back here? You got me a present? Man you shouldn't have!"

"And I didn't! That's not for you boy stop touching! It's for your brother."

Huey, sitting in the front seat, perked his head up.

"Oh. It's for Huey. It's prolly something gay."

Huey rolled his eyes from the front seat.

Jazmine was curiously tuned to the conversation while Riley was shaking the box.

"Boy stop shaking that box! You're gonna damage its contents!"

"I'm tryna figure out what its _contents_ is. Man Grandad you bought something for Huey and not me. That's messed up. You always playing favorites!"

"Boy if you don't shut your mouth up I'm gonna come back there and beat you!"

Riley sat back in his seat with his arms folded across his chest mumbling to himself. Pretty soon they were pulling up to the house. They looked at the house next to them and noticed a giant moving van in their yard. There were a lot of men bringing in lots of furniture. Also amid the furniture was something that looked like cargo and was covered up in big sheets.

"Oh. We got new neighbors. Hope they're black."

"Nope. They whiter than mayonnaise. Crackas."

Huey looked at Riley.

"Nigga don't look at me like that. I bet when we moved these white people said the same thing except they said_ niggas_ instead."

Grandad walked up to the door and unlocked it. He ushered the boys and Jazmine in with a smile on his face.

"You know boys after that whole mall fiasco I realized the world is a dangerous place," Huey gave him a 'no shit' look while Riley merely raised one eyebrow, "so from now on I will keep my eye on you at all times. That is also why I brought Huey this to keep with him at all times."

Grandad snatched the box from Riley's hands and handed it to Huey. Both Jazmine and Riley stared with curiosity as Huey opened the box. Riley gasped and Jazmine smiled as Huey put the white device in his hand.

"An iPhone? You bought me an iPhone?!"

"Yeah. I figured you would need one of those cellular phones to have on you. Man cellular phones have gotten more expensive nowadays. But I figured it would be cheaper than a funeral."

"Grandad. You could have bought me a less expensive, less f-"

"Well Huey can't put a price on safety." With that Grandad walked away.

"Man Huey! I always knew you were a hater! You got an iPhone and you bugging!" Riley walked away shaking his head. Huey turned to jazmine who looked to be shaking with excitement.

"Jazmine...you..okay?"

"OH HUEY! You got a phone! Now we can talk to each other when we're not there in person!"

"Yeah. That's kind of the idea of a phone."

"Now I can call you if I have a question about homework or if I want to invite you over and you're not home or if you want to go to the hill or if we Wha wha wha wha wha wha wha whaaa..."

Jazmine rambled on and on about the advantages of Huey getting a phone. Huey just sat and thought. Grandad is definitely going through one of his phases. The phase where something happens and he does crazy things to ensure it won't happen again. _Sigh_. It's gonna be a long week. When Huey turned his head, Jazmine was taking a picture with his phone and she was pressing buttons.

"Jazmine? What are you doing?"

"I'm putting myself in your phone as a contact silly. He-he." Then Jazmine's phone started ringing and she started pressing buttons on it.

"Look now you're in my phone too. Now we can talk whenever." She put her phone in the air with the back of it facing Huey's face. He didn't notice since he was so busy thinking. By the time he turned his head it was too late.

"Jazmine don't-"

Click.

"What? You're not a vampire Huey. You could take a picture. It's not like you don't have the looks."

"Jazmine. Vampires are afraid of mirrors."

"So...your point is...?"

"Look, Jazmine. Don't get too attached to that phone. I'm gonna get Grandad to take it back to the store."

_**As I said earlier many kids would be excited at the prospect of getting the newest material possession. But I don't really care about having a phone that costs as much as some people's rent. The fact that Grandad was willing to pay so much for this phone disturbs me and lets me know that his 'mission' to 'keep us safe' is really really really serious. **_

"Aw Huey. Why you gotta be a party pooper." She walked out the living room and into the kitchen. Huey followed behind her to talk to Grandad who was also in the kitchen. He was on the phone talking to someone. Jazmine was in the fridge and pulled out juice and poured it into a cup.

"What? You won't come. Why...? Look where? Bushido Brown? You can't do it? What? Hell No! Fuck you!" He slammed the phone shut.

He immediately went to his laptop and slowly typed, with one finger at a time, a website in.

"Grandad? Who were you talking too?"

"I was trying to order some bodyguards. But they wouldn't come."

Huey looked at the website he typed up. DontGuardem dot com. All three of the Freemans' picture was there.

"Said if Bushido Brown was killed it would be suicide to come here. Damn Hateocracy!"

"Oh. Well grandad I want you to take the phone back. I don't need it. There's plenty of other things that can be bought with the money you spent on that thing."

"Huey," Grandad sighed, "I want you and your brother to be safe. This is the only way I know how. I need to have direct communication with you when I need it. What happened at the mall is just a reminder that the world we live in, even though we're living in lily-white suburbia, can be dangerous."

"Yeah. But Grandad-"

"Noope. I don't want to hear it. Boy! Be happy that I care about ya'll deliquent asses! Hmmph. Boy got a problem with what I bought. I ain't spent all that money on that damn MyPhone for you to be complaining. Better be glad I care at all the way these crumb snatchers cause all this damn..."

Grandad continued to ramble as he walked out of the kitchen. Huey just looked at Jazmine and she looked back at him for a moment before she took a sip of her juice and her smile slowly grew really big.

"Jazmine don't-"

"YAAAAAY! Huey got a phone! Huey got a phone!" She said this in a sing song voice after her obnoxious scream. Huey sighed, looked murderously at the white phone in his hand and walked up the stairs to his room.

~~~~3 hours later~~~~

Jazmine had gone home about a couple of hours ago after taking pictures of her, Huey and a reluctant Riley. She even took pictures of a bowl of fruit. Riley had secretly called his 'niggas' on his phone. Everyone seemed to be enjoying that phone all except Huey. Huey was in the living room downstairs reading one of his new books. All of a sudden there was a crash upstairs. He ran up the stairs and saw Riley's lamp on the floor along with his iPhone.

"Riley? What the hell!"

"Man! It was an accident! Calm yo nuts nigga."

Huey went to pick the phone up while Riley picked up the lamp and put it back on their dresser. Huey looked at the phone and noticed all the apps on there. There were rows and rows of random app titles like grow a beard, Doctor gone, Talk dirty to me. What the hell?

"Riley! What the hell is all this?" Riley lay casually on his bed playing with his PSP. He looked up at Huey.

"What nigga? It's called _apps_. Man Huey! I swear sometimes you an old man like grandad."

"I know what the hell they are. I was just wondering why you put them all on here?!"

"Oh. I knew it would annoy yo' gay ass." Huey kicked Riley in his side.

"That ain't hurt! Gay ass nigga..." Riley got up and walked out of their room.

Huey sighed and sat down on his bed. He continued to scroll through the apps and accidentally pressed one called Amplify Spy. Then Huey heard sounds like people were talking.

"What the...?"

"_Yeah. Hey Johnny! We got the stuff here. I don't think anyone here suspects a thing. As long as we pretend to be the nice people we portray we can continue to sell and no one will suspect a thing. Yeah. I gotta go. Jennie wants to meet the neighbors. Ha ha. Okay. Bye."_

"_What the...?"_

Huey looked out the window and pondered about his neighbors for a few minutes before he heard his phone ring. It was a dull, boring beeping sound. He saw Jazmine's face from the picture she took earlier. He sighed. He didn't really feel like talking to Jazmine but he knew that she would only pester him tomorrow about why he didn't answer.

"Hello."

" 'Ey 'ooey."

"Jazmine are you eating cause I can barely understand you. Either way, I have to call you back. I'm busy." She swallowed whatever she had in her mouth.

"I know but I promise I'll be quick."

"Okay. What?"

"...Well...What you doing?" She said in an annoying sing songy voice.

"Jazmine." Huey said with a warning.

"Okay. Okay. Can you come over tomorrow?"

"For what?"

"I need you to help me with my science project."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Grandad is keeping us on lock-down. Riley tried to go outside and practice doing layups earlier but he told him that it's too dangerous out there."

"Out where?"

"The world, Jazmine. The man has gone mad. Anyways I can't help with your science project. Okay."

"Aww. Well...okay. Bye Huey."

"Bye Jazmine." Huey hung up and put the phone in his back pocket.

"Boy! Get down here! The new neighbors here want to meet you and your knucklehead brother!"

Huey got there and Riley and Grandad was standing at the door talking to the neighbors.

"So does your car have rims? Cause if it do then that's tight."

Robert hit Riley in his side as a warning.

"He-he. That boy's so silly. So... Jennie. Bill. This is Huey. My other grandson. His name is Huey. Don't mind his hair. He has a condition where it just won't stop growing. Say hi Huey."

Jennie spoke first in a cheery voice.

"Oh. Hi Huey. They're both so adorable. And I happen to love his hair. So untamed and free. I think that's how we should all live." She smiled so hard her cheeks looked like they would pop. He husband also looked way too happy. Huey was suspicious, especially after that phone call.

"Yeah. I'm Bill, by the way. So neighbors my wife baked a pie for you."

"Yeah it's southern style pecan pie. I used my great grandmother's recipe. She was from Louisiana."

"Yeah? well..Bill? Jennie? I can't be rude after you have been so nice to us. Would you like to come in and have some cheese?"

"Oh, Robert we would love some cheese."

Bill made a gesture to her and pointed at his watch.

"Well...honey. It's about that time."

"Oooh. I'm sorry, Robert. Me and Bill have dinner plans with our...um... interior decorator."

"Yeah. We'll take a raincheck on the cheese. But thanks Robert and definitely next time we'll hang out and have cheese."

They walked away as Riley sniffed the pie.

"Um...this sh-" Robert looked at him.

"Um...this stuff smells so good. Way better than Ms. Dubois cooking. Maybe white people can cook. Not that I've ate much food from them." He walked away towards the kitchen most likely to swallow the pie whole.

_**I gotta warn Grandad that they're not good company to keep. With his new agenda on safety he should listen to me. But then again...**_

~~The Next morning~~

"Boy! Why you so paranoid? The new neighbors are nice people. You saw them last night. They were polite, and-"

"But grandad! You gotta listen to me."

"Shut up boy and get in the car!" Grandad walked out of the kitchen. Riley was at the table slurping the milk out of his cereal bowl.

Huey was about to walk out of the kitchen until his phone vibrated. It was a text message from Jazmine.

_**Hey Huey. Good Morning.**_

_Jazmine we're going to see each other in about 20 minutes._

_**I Know. He he.**_

'He He? Who is she? Michael Jackson?'

Huey then walked outside and got in the car and headed to school where he was about to be annoyed all day. In homeroom, Jazmine who sat next to him, texted him throughout the class period.

_**Hey Huey.**_

_ . .I' . .You._

Without looking he pressed send.

_**Okay...? Um.. I wasn't doing that.**_

_**What? Of course you were!**_

_**Um..Huey...I know you're all new to the phone thing but..read what you sent.**_

_**Huey looked at the message he sent and groaned internally. It read 'Jasmine stop sexting me. I'm not sexting you.'**_

_I didn't mean to send that. It was the phone._

_He he. Don't worry Huey that happens to people all the time. Welcome to the world of auto-correct._

~~~~the last period of the day~~~~

_**Huey. I don't know how to do this can you help me.**_

_Jazmine?_

_**Huh?**_

_I'm still sitting next to you._

_**He-he. I know that! Am I bothering you?**_

_What was your first clue?_

_**Well the tone you used through your words and how you wrote them and you kept reminding me the exact time I texted you and how unnecessary it is to text you.**_

_Rhetorical Question Jazmine._

_**Oh. He-he.**_

Huey sighed and attempted to put his phone on vibrate. He than had an idea. Huey grabbed the phone and put it on top on his table and started tampering with it. Jazmine gasped next to him. Then a message popped up.

_**Huey! What are you doing! You're gonna get your phone tooken.**_

_Taken, Jazmine. Taken._

_**No time to correct grammar Huey Freeman! Put it away.**_

"Huey Freeman. Why do you have a phone out?" The teacher Mr. Reese called out. Everyone in the classroom turned to look at him.

Huey planned on getting the phone taken so Jazmine could stop bothering him, and he couldn't pick up phone calls, and plus he hated the phone. He barely knew how to use it. But then again, he barely tried.

"Well..."

"Were you texting? In class?"

"Maybe..." He walked up to Huey's desk and reached his hand out.

"Hand it over, Huey."

Huey gave him the phone, then he looked at the man's shocked face.

"This is the new iPhone! It's not even out yet!"

"I doubt that that's true-"

He handed him the iPhone back.

"Here. You can keep this. It must be from somebody important."

_**What?!**_

"What?"

Huey inspected the phone. It didn't look any different from any other iPhone's he had seen on TV and in real life. Then Huey noticed a small Silver W at the bottom of the phone.

"But why would there be a W on the...Wuncler!" Huey whispered to himself, then he looked at the clock. It read 2:53. Two minutes before the bell would ring. Close enough. Huey then he grabbed his bag and ran out of the school and off campus.

He ran all the way home and then realized that Wuncler could be teamed up with the CIA or FBI tracking him. So he threw the phone closer to the new illegal neighbors house. He was glad he didn't put anything incriminating on the phone. He was angry that people were still harassing him. He _told_ everyone that he was retired.

Huey ran upstairs and began typing on his computer. Then someone busted in the door.

"Boy! What the hell is wrong with you! Running out the school like you Maniac McGee! What you think you Forrest Gump or something?!"

"Grandad you don't understand. They're after me. I don't know why but," a thought had occurred to Huey, "...wait Grandad _where _did you get that phone?"

"Umm...I bought it at the Pear? no. Orange. No. Apple! Yeah that um...apple store at the um mall."

"Grandad?"

"Alright, alright! I got it from Wuncler. I was driving to the mall but then he saw me passing and he stopped me and then I started talking to him about his ignorant ass grandson shooting up the mall and I told him I was on my way to buying you a new phone and yada yada yada. He reached into his briefcase and gave me this package that had a brand new not-sold-in-stores phone in it and he told me to give it to you because it was _really_ reliable and it keeps track of _everything_ you do. I thought you would be excited you were the first to get it. You know like those snobby hipster folk."

"Grandad?"

"What?"

"Why would you trust Wuncler, the man who bets all the houses in Woodcrest on games! The man who exploited Jazmine as a child laborer! The man who took away your short-lived dream of owning a restaurant! The man who was willing to scar me over a kickball game! The man who can get away with _anything_! The man who hates my guts and vice versa! The man who stands for everything I'm against to give you something for _me!"_

"Well...I didn't think about it like that. I mean I don't like to go around pissing off billionaires, but Boy you thought I was gonna spend hundreds of dollars on a phone for you?! Hell for anybody! You musta been out of your cottonball head!...but...I used the money I was gonna spend on your phone and bought me some new shoes and I brought your brother some too cause you know I don't like to play favorites. I still haven't given it to him yet, though. Hmm...I wonder if I can use that to my advantage?"

"Ugh!" Huey groaned in frustration. Grandad suddenly jumped at the sound of banging on the door.

Mr. and Mrs. Johnson rushed in with guns.

"What the...Bill? Jennie? What's going on?"

"Shut the fuck up Robert!"

"What?! Now woman you ain't gonna come in my house and-" Grandad was silenced by the gun pointed at his neck. "Well Mrs. Johnson you're looking lovely today. Might I even say homicidal."

"**Police! Come out with your hands behind your head!"**

Just then Huey did a swift kick motion and knocked Mrs. Johnson out who fell onto her husband who fell and hit his head on a corner of a desk by the front door.

Huey walked and stood over their two bodies.

"Well...that was easier than I thought."

Grandad hurriedly ran to the door and shoved it open.

"They're in here! They're in here!"

Just then a couple of FBI agents rushed in and grabbed their bodies and brought them outside. After they left another agent walked in. He was tall, middle-aged and wore a bored, Huey-like expression. He walked towards Huey and stopped about a couple of feet in front of him.

"Hi, Mr. Freeman. May I speak to Huey alone?"

"Why, sure Mr. FBI man...would you like some cheese?"

"No thanks."

After grandad walked away, the man turned towards Huey.

"Huey Freeman. We meet again."

"Unfortunately."

The man chuckled.

"Well...I can't help but wonder what you've been up to. What plan are we going to have to foil next?"

"I told you all. I'm retired. I'm tired of fighting a war I'll never win."

"Well you're right about that. But I don't believe you about the retiring part. You could just be saying that so we'll get off your tail."

"Yeah, but I'm not. I have a question."

"Shoot."

"What type of relationship do you have with Wuncler?"

"That's confidential information."

"Sure it is. What it also is is an example that if you have a lot of money you can basically rule the world through the government. What does America need dictators for when we have crooked government and rich people who buy their power. I'm also convinced police brutality is a conspiracy to kill as many black men as possible."

He chuckled. "Oh Huey. You and your conspiracies. Be careful. That just may be your downfall. By the way, we are not the bad guys you speak of. Those bad guys are out there. Unfortunately, it's damn near impossible to identify them before it's too late. I know you're not a bad kid, but you're too smart for your own good. There's top secret info that we have that you must never find out. The public just isn't ready for that. Until we decide you're not a threat anymore we'll fall back. Until then, we'll be watching." He turned and left.

'Damn when did life in the burbs get so hard?'

Huey stood there for a minute...thinking.

_**This isn't over. It never is.**_

~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~~~~~

Grandad told Riley to take the trash out. Riley was gonna refuse but grandad had his hand on his belt. As Riley was taking out the trash, he noticed a white object by the bushes of the house next door that was probably for sale again. He picked up his brother's discarded phone and put it in his pocket and smiled his devious smile.

Wooh! Not my favorite chapter but I promise there's funnier, better, chapters up ahead. Out of all the ones I have written this seems to be the most appropriate one to start off with. Anyways, REVIEW! Yes do that. Updates will be fast at first since I have some chapters already written. Yes they will be lengthy. Some may even seem OOC but nothing too bad. I promise.


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: A series of Boondocks-style episodes. Huey is still the passionate, intelligent thinker who has to bear the burden of living in a crazy world. No permanent OOC. Canon. Fluff. This chapter here is the most offensive thing I ever wrote. If you are super ultra sensitive about racism, Ruckus and Becky's interpretation of your favorite pop singer, or any variation of that then I suggest you don't read this chapter. None of these opinions expressed in this chapter are my own. It's the characters. Also I got these jokes from a website. I don't own them.

Summary: Ruckus meets Becky. Warning: Extremely offensive

"When Ruckus met Becky"

Ruckus and Grandad were sitting in the front row watching the basketball game between the Maryland Terrapins versus Carolina Tar Heels. But neither was watching the game. Grandad was trying to talk to some young girl sitting in the row above him.

"Yeah, Cutie pie. I know Barack personally. Got him on speed call." She giggled. "You're so funny Robert. Acting like an out-of-touch old man in a modern world. You know it's called speed dial."

Grandad chuckled nervously at the racially ambiguous young woman. He decided to just go with the flow.

"Yeah. Won't you come give me a visit at my home. Let me _romance _you right." Grandad used his seductive tone and leaned into her.

She giggled.

"Sure. You seem like an harmless old man."

"Sure. Some niggas _seem_ innocent but you can't trust not one of them lazy-good-for-nothing Negroes. And you Robert! You keep bringing home and dumping all these nigga women. I know she light skin but she got nigga in her! I would recommend you getting a white woman but that beautiful caucasian beauty deserve to be with more than a vine-swinging, rope clinging, banana slinging monkey."

The girl got up and ran away with tears in her eyes.

"Ruckus! Look what you did you fat ol' fool!"

"I was saving you Robert. You a different kind of nigga. Still a jungle bunny jiggaboo, but you one of the better kind...Still a nigga though."

"Damn!"

Just then a heavyset, unattractive, white woman above Ruckus started to talk to Ruckus.

"Hey! Blacky! I couldn't help but hear your conversation...and I hate niggas too. It's just a shame this country done sold out. A monkey for a president! I thought they were only meant for spaceships and cages! Ha-ha-ha!"

She was cackling and eating popcorn in an unattractive way but Ruckus eyes sparkled with adoration.

"ha-ha-ha only belong in spaceships and cages! That's a _brilliant_ observation ma'am! I'm Uncle Ruckus...no relation. And what is your name you ivory goddess?"

"My name is Rebecca. All my white friends call me Becky. I never met a nigger who shared the same ideals as me. Hey! Would you happen to have revitaligo?"

"Yes. It's a damn shame. These liberal-communists spend government money on Aids research and stuff the darkies and gays brought here instead of restoring the .02 % of white men with revitaligo with his perfect white skin color."

"Aw. You poor thing. How does it feel looking like that? Can't imagine being that way."

"Well. It's not so bad. I just know that god brought me here to teach everyone how to love the white man. Being a sacrifice to the white man is a blessing. But why would a white beauty such as yourself come here to see these negroes play the only game they good at."

"Oh you know...I'm a very generous person. I wanted to teach some of these niggas how to read."

"Ha-ha! Hey you wanna come over to my place and throw tar balloons at unsuspecting darkies?"

"You do that too! I thought I was the only one. Where do you live?"

"bout' 2 hours from here. Hey Robert."

Robert turned his head up and away from Ruckus. The buzzing sound signaled that the game was over, but neither Ruckus or Robert acknowledged it because they didn't really come to watch the game anyway. Robert came to scout young women, and Ruckus came to make fun of the black basketball players. He had almost gotten kicked out for throwing a banana at a black player. Luckily the ref caught it and only gave Ruckus a warning.

"Are you talking to me Ruckus?"

"Yeah I'm talking to you nigga! I know you ready to leave and get back home to the lil' coon kiddies... Wouldn't want them to hurt theyselves."

Ruckus and Becky looked at each other and busted out laughing at his sarcasm, while Robert observed the two.

"God damn a female version of Ruckus!" Robert walked away shaking his head, while Ruckus and Becky followed him to the car.

~~~~ 2 hours later~~~

Robert shook his head in frustration as Ruckus and Becky told racist black jokes in the back of the car.

"Hey Becky? I got a good one. What do you call 100 niggers in the bottom of the sea?"

"What?"

"A Good start."

"BWAHHAHAAAA! Oh Ruckus! You tell the best nigger jokes. I got one too. Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps?"

"Where?" Ruckus moved in expectantly.

"Under his work boots. HAAHAHA."

"Hahaaha. Oh," Ruckus was laughing so hard he had to clutch his stomach, "Lord that is too funny. Cause everybody knows niggas are allergic to jobs."

"Oh. I got another one. What do you call trees in Harlem?"

"What?"

"Public transportation!"

Ruckus and Becky continued to laugh the entire two hours. Time flied for those two. Pretty soon they were pulling up in front of Ruckus's place. Robert made a face when she got out the car and the car rose and made a squeaking sound.

Becky stepped forward towards Ruckus's shack and asked, "This is where you live?"

Ruckus looked nervous. He wrung his hands about using a towel.

"Yes."

"Damn! This look better than my place. I live in a trailer. In a real nice park. But your place is way better than mine."

"Well then... welcome to casa del Ruckus."

"Well. Let's go get them balloons ready for tomorrow," She turned around and shouted over her shoulder, "Bye Robert! Go on and get them future criminals of America to bed you cotton picking negro!"

Ruckus looked happy and ran in after her. Robert looked pissed.

"You could say thank you for the ride," he started driving off slowly, "You fat, ugly bitch!"

After dropping Ruckus and the white whale off, Robert stepped foot into his house. It was surprisingly clean and undamaged. It was about 10:00p.m. and the boys were probably upstairs in their room. Robert was about to go up the stairs when he heard a sound. It was a very loud cricket.

_Cricket!_

_Cricket!_

_Cricket!_

_Cricket!_

"God Dammit! I am not in the mood to deal with this!" He stomped up the stairs. He took off his clothes and climbed into the bed. He sighed in relief at the peace and quiet.

_Cricket!_

_Cricket!_

_Cricket!_

_Cricket!_

"Damn!" Grandad kicked the covers off in frustration. 2 hours later and he is lying in bed, eyes wide open. He grabs the pillow, puts it over his head and grits his teeth. He gets up and turns the light on and starts hitting random spots in his room. The noise stops, he stands there and waits for it to start up again. Then he lays down and sighs happily. He then turns over and gets comfortable under the covers. In a few seconds Grandad was snoring.

_Cricket!_

_Cricket!_

_Cricket!_

_Cricket!_

Grandad started to toss and turn in his sleep. At last the old man had thrown his covers and pillows over his head.

~~~9:17 a.m.~~

Grandad had come down stairs dressed in his usual attire. Green sweater, khaki pants, and brown shoes. He had bags under his eyes, his hair was combed poorly, and he looked...droopy. Huey and Riley was sitting at the kitchen table eating their cereal. They turned their heads towards him when he came in.

"Damn, Grandad. You look like shit!" Huey looked at his brother disapprovingly.

"Boy! Leave your grandaddy alone! Shoot I'm tired as hell! Them damn crickets kept me up all night. How the hell they get in here anyway!"

Both Huey and Riley looked down in guilt and continued to eat their cereal.

"Huh? Oh...They just walked on in and shit. We tried to get em out but we couldn't find them."

"The first time Riley actually does his homework he gets in trouble for it."

"Whatever! I'm gonna deal with your asses later."

He walked out of the kitchen and went into the living room and grabbed the phone and dialed a familiar number. The voicemail came on.

**This here is Uncle Ruckus no relation. If you not white then hang up now cause you ain't shit to me! Now that all the niggas are gone...leave a message after this beep.**

"Ruckus! I need you to get over here and get these damn bugs outta my house! Now!"

Robert slammed the phone back down on the receiver.

There is a compilation of scenes where Ruckus and Becky have fun at the expense of others. In this case, black people. At first they show Ruckus and Becky throwing balloons filled with black liquid at a black man passing by. They ran after him and continued to throw it at him. Then they show Ruckus wearing a server's uniform and Becky in a too-small dress at a casual party where Tom, Sarah, Robert and other neighbors are. Ruckus offers Robert a cup of water. He reaches forward to grab it but they all come up and spill on him. Ruckus and Becky laugh. Huey is in the living room reading and Ruckus slipped a copy of The Birth of a Nation over his book. Huey narrowed his eyes and walked away. Ruckus and Becky threw cotton at him as he walked. Then they went to random McDonald's and taped signs that said:

No Colored people allowed. The Management. People were protesting, white and black in the form of throwing things at the buildings. There was tomatoes, shakes, and all kind of trash thrown at McDonald's buildings and on the ground.

~~~~Later that day~~~~~~~

Ruckus and Becky are at a park sitting next to each other on a bench eating ice cream.

"Are you enjoying your ice cream cone, Rebecca?"

"Yes. I am enjoying this sweet vanilla ice cream. Oh Ruckus. I never met anyone like you. You know, someone of your skin color and someone of mine, but as long as I know you're white. It's alright." She continued to lick her ice cream cone.

"I can agree with those sentiments you've just expressed. I, too, never thought I would find another person I feel that I could share everything with. Even though we look like jungle love, I can assure you that there will be no niggatry as long as we're together."

"But you know, I can't kiss nigga lips, though. You gotta wear something to cover that up. Until then I'll give you a big kiss on the cheek." She leaned over and kissed him, Ruckus looked shocked and in awe. He touched the spot where she kissed him. He had stars and hearts in his eyes.

_**Racism is not something that is logical. It is illogical and can make one blind regarding the state and the functioning of the world around them, including the people in it. Ruckus and Becky's relationship is brought together by their love of ignorance and hatred. The fact that their ideas about the world are so identical and also so rare was only another reason that they were so close. Maybe there really is someone out there for everyone. If those two could find love, then the rest of us can have hope that we will one day too.**_

"Well, becky. What's your favorite music? I like I like Jimmy Rebel. One of the best white musicians to ever grace this beautiful earth. I hate most of that crap out there. Especially black artists. We all know that everything they do they stole from the white man. Little Richard...damn thief. The only thing they didn't steal was that jungle booty noise rap music that don't nobody want."

"I like Jimmy Rebel too. Let's see... I hate pop music... I hate classical... I hate opera...If I wanted to hear all that loud yipping yapping I would go to the beach to listen to the damn whales! I hate R&B or as I like to call it niggas singing the blues. I hate,_with a passion_, rap music.

"Nope. Uh Jesus don't like that. They all going to hell for that. Well there's one exception to the rap music. It's a certain artist that despite the nigga in her, makes me like her because of how she degrades black women and parade around wanting to be like a white woman."

"Who might that be? I never heard one of them rappers embrace the white man."

"Nicki Minaj. You hearda her."

"You mean that nigga woman with the big African jungle booty."

"Yup. Look at her skin, the blonde hair, the contacts, the way she talks about other black women. The "nigga monkey" the "nappy headed hoes"...I mean she quoted Don Imus. She is on our side. I mean I could care less about most of her music, but as far as her image, she represents our beliefs. White supremacy. It's nice to see a black entertainer embracing the white man so much."*

"Wow. I never looked at it that way. See, Becky you have opened my eyes to things I wouldn't have looked twice at. Hey, what do you think about all this Illuminati business?"

"Well if New World Order strives to enslave the human race and makes them bow down to the white man, then I'm all for it."

"Well what about that Lady Googoo? Gaga? Whatever that odd, white goddess name is."

"That white Madonna rip off? I think she's in the Illuminati. But she's into devil worship though so she ain't worth shit to me. Hmmph. I thought I was white trash. I remember the days when white people had sense. I miss the days where darkies were treated how they were supposed to be treated. When white men weren't afraid to walk down the street with water hoses." *

"So, Ruckus? Want to terrorize some more negroes? I got a couple cowbells and bongoes it'll be just like a farm or the jungle for them."

"Oh. Well we can do that later, but first why don't we spend some more time getting to know each other?"

"Get to know each other? What do we have to get to know about the other that isn't already obvious. You live your life as a black man, so you ain't shit and I'm poor, white trailer trash. My favorite color is white cause its the only one that ain't tainted. I dislike negroes, chinks, and all the other brown people. My favorite music? I already told you that. "

"Stop it! You are something. As long as you're white you're alright! Don't ever let that come out of your mouth."

"Well Ruckus. I never thought someone with skin as dark as yours would ever have enough insight to make me reconsider myself. I guess I am something."

"You are something. Don't you know that if I had the chance to be you I would? Don't you know how appealing that is to a negro like me? You know except the fact that you are a woman. I can't deal with all that shit."

"Ruckus! Don't you ever call yourself a nigga! I don't ever wanna hear Ruckus and Nigga in the same sentence ever again! You hear me! You is dark, but you's is important because you is white! Now if I ever hear the opposite from you then get out my sight. Seriously. I can't be with no nigga. That's bestiality."

"Oh Becky. You are something else."

"I am ain't I?"

"Want me to get you another ice cream cone?"

"No. I'll get it myself. I consider getting up and getting food my exercise for the day."

"Oh. You are so creative, sweetheart."

Becky walked towards the sidewalk to cross the street to get another ice cream cone. Just then a bus was speeding down the road and it didn't slow down in time and it hit Becky. Ruckus sat there frozen for a second and the bus stopped. The driver, who was black came out and looked at the woman. A middle-aged white woman gasped in horror and yelled that she was gonna call 911. Ruckus wasn't paying any attention to what they were saying. He was too busy attempting CPR.

"Come on, Becky. Push through. Don't go towards that light! Don't look at Ronald Reagan! Ignore Ronald Reagan!"

Ruckus suddenly looked up at the bus driver and began cursing at him.

"You ape! Who let Magilla Gorilla get a driver's license! You fucking idiot!" Ruckus had tears in his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~At The Hospital~~~~~~~~~~~

_**Becky had several broken body parts. Her entire body was in casts. Doctors said it would be a long time to recover. Becky had no real family, no kids, no friends back at home. This could be the very reason she became racist. To cope with being lonely. In a way I kind of feel sorry for Ruckus. He would probably never find another woman that he could be with. He may never know the feeling of having or raising a family. He would spend his last days-**_

"Hey! Stop that shit I'm not sad and lonely! You baby monkey! She'll be fine! She's go-gonna b-be AHHHHAAAAHHHHAAAAA!" Ruckus continued to cry.

_**Ruckus came everyday to see how she was doing. He was sitting there talking to her about how he's been feeling lately.**_

One of the days he visited he saw one of her arms, which was hanging above her in a cast, sway back and forth ever so slightly.

"Ruckus!" Her voice sounded muffled.

"Becky! Oh you finally spoke to me!"

"Yeah, yeah. Look, Ruckus I want you to find another white woman that is good for you. Forget about me. Okay. You should be happy. A white woman without a doubt will do that!"

"But, Becky! I-I-I can't!"

"What that negroid president say? Yes you can! Now get on before I tell the hospital staff you some random nigga tryna get some white poon."

Ruckus bowed his head in sadness.

~~~~~~~~~~ 3 Hours later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Man where those god damn bugs at!"

"Riley! Boy what I told you about cussing in my house!"

"So that means I can cuss outside the house?"

Robert put his hand on his belt in warning. Huey was walking around looking for the bugs, while the other two were arguing.

"Look! There go a motherfucker right there!"

"Boy!" Robert whipped his belt out in record time. He began chasing Riley around the living room.

"I'm sorry, grandad!"

"Boy don't you run from me! You better take this ass whupping!"

"It slipped out you know I got problems with that! Why you can't give me the benefit of the doubt!"

"Guys!" Huey stood there looking on in frustration, while the two ran around the living room shouting at each other.

'Damn.' Huey thought. 'You'd think I was the grown up right now.'

"Guys! Stop it! Let's find the-" Huey just sighed in frustration and sat on the couch nearby, while the others continued to antagonize each other. Just then Ruckus came in with all kind of gear on.

"Have no fear super negro is here! Ha ha! You negroes don't know nothing bout that, do ya? Back back niggas let me take over, yall dont know how to kill bugs, just lions monkeys and bears in the jungle!"

"Finally!" Robert stopped chasing Riley and looked excited.

"Yeah. Finally!" Riley said on the other side of the room in response to Grandad not chasing him with the belt anymore.

"What happened to that ugly white girl you was with a few days ago?"

"Robert! Don't you ever fix your baboon lips to talk bad about any white woman, let alone poor hospitalized Becky!"

"What happened to her?"

"She got hit by a bus."

"Damn, grandad! Looks like your wish came true. Let me not get on your bad side."

"Damn. That's messed up. Did she die?"

"No. But she got casts on almost every part of her body. Doctors said it'll be almost a year before she will be able to walk again."

"Damn," which seemed to be the only thing grandad could say.

'Karma' Huey thought.

"I decided I might as well get back to work and since no white people need me, I decided to help some negroes out. Ya'll need it."

Ruckus had on a boatload of exterminating gear on. He grabbed one of the handles of the unknown pack on his back. He turned and looked at them as if to say 'okaaaay'.

"What are ya'll waiting for? Do you want me to do my job or do you want to inhale fumes?" He said as he pulled a gas mask over his face. After they left, he started to sing his favorite tune, "_In the jungle the mighty jungle the niggas sleep day and night_. Lazy niggas."

Ruckus then pulled out an mp3 player. He didn't believe in these new technologies, but a white person gave it to him and insisted that he use it. Now who is he to disobey a white man? He had also met a little white boy in the hospital and told him how much he loved Becky. The boy told him that he knew a song that will make him remember her. He never listened to the song but now he pressed play on the song by someone named Plies called Becky. Once the sound got through to his ears, Ruckus let out a loud, "_Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!_"

**Can Ms. Becky please raise her hand bra I need some of that good head right now bra I need that Becky**

**I'm on this liquor, oh so heavy**

**(Gimme that Becky)**

**for we fuck can you neck me**

**(Gimme that Becky)**

**little head and I am ready**

**(Gimme that Becky)**

**I want your mouth**

**(Gimme that Becky)**

Song fades out

Cues Boondock flute exit music

*Doesn't represent my beliefs

Yeah I think a good author can use someone's personality and interpret the way they can see the world so don't get mad at me for the racist jokes or the pop star bashing because none of that is of my direct opinion that is all...Read and Review please...anyways this was one of my favorites to write mostly because it was so challenging...It is not my fav chapter but I enjoy it a lot...btw look forward to Caesar's arrival...Review


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: Jazmine enters talent show; Riley and Cindy get into trouble

"Breaking down the House"

_**Jazmine Dubois was a lot like her father in many ways. She was paranoid like her father. Naïve like her father. And...she loved to sing like her father. In fact Jazmine and Tom would often sing together... in the car,**__-_shows Jazmine and tom singing in the car—_**in a plane**_-shows Jazmine and Tom singing on an airplane while Sarah and other passengers put pillows over their heads-_**and even underwater**_—shows Jazmine and Tom at the beach under the water singing while Sarah, Grandad, Huey and Riley look on with disgust and annoyance._** But Jazmine lacked one thing that Tom seemed to have...arrogance. Tom believed that he was god's gift to music. He believed that he could out sing anyone. This train of thought gave Tom a sense of fearlessness when performing. Something his daughter lacked.**_

"Daddy! Daddy!" Tom pulled up against the curb at J. Edgar Hoover Elementary. He had come to pick Jazmine up as she was staying after school to audition for the school talent show.

"Hi, Sweetie!" Jazmine hopped in the car and kissed her father's cheek.

"Daddy! I passed the audition! I can perform in the talent show now!"

"Oh that's great sweetie! What song are you going to sing?"

"Umm...I'm not sure yet. Want to hear my suggestions?"

"Sure Sweetie."

"Okay...Weak by SWV?"

"No."

"Uhh...Right and a Wrong way by Keith Sweat?"

"Absolutely not."

"R. Kelly-"

"Never! R. Kelly does not exist to you! Okay?!"

"Okay...daddy. Ooh I have another suggestion."

"What is it?" Tom braced himself.

"What about Pony by Ginuwine. I _love_ ponies." Tom started to hyperventilate.

"No!How do you even know these songs?!"

"Daddy?" Jazmine whined, "Why can't I sing those songs? Do you have anything against those songs? Is it because they're R&B? You know what? You might be on to something daddy. Most of the kids at school probably won't know these songs. Good thinking."

"Jazmine, it's not because they're R&B. It's because they're...um...uhhh..."

"Ooh. I got it! I can sing Cyndi Lauper She Bop!" Tom absolutely did not want to hear his daughter singing a controversial song about masturbation in front of an auditorium full of prepubescent children and their parents.

"Ahhhh!" Tom screamed out loud in despair.

~~~~~ At the Freeman Residence~~~~

Riley Freeman was sitting on the living room sofa with his feet up on the table, a glass of juice a sandwich, and a bag of Cheetos. Since Grandad went to the grocery store and Huey wasn't around he basked in the solitude.

"Ahhh," he sighed satisfactorily, "Home alone. No abusive grandad and no hating Huey."

He got up to go turn off the Playstation and turn on the Xbox when he heard a faint sound coming from the garage area. Riley ran upstairs and grabbed Huey's Sword and ran to the garage entrance door. He heard another sound that sounded like a crash. He opened the door and ran towards the sound.

"Who the fuck is in here! Don't make me get to slicing and dicing in this peace!"

"Ugh..." Riley slowly walks to the sound of someone who is groaning in pain. He walks over to the person and looks them in the face.

"Cindy! Man what the hell you doing here?! Breaking in and shit!" He put the sword down at his side.

"What's up Reezy! I just dropped by to ya know hang out and shit!"

"Hang out?! You dropped by to hang out and you came through the fucking garage window like a fucking criminal? What's wrong? Yo ass allergic to front doors?!" Riley continued to rant while he walked back to the living room with Cindy following behind him, "I coulda stabbed yo ass up! Then I woulda went to jail for _**life**_ fo killing a crazy white girl, damn!"

"Calm down Reezy. I was just testing out my burglary skills." They were both sitting on the couch next to each other by now.

"Testing your-nigga is you crazy? Where I'm from that's how you get shot." Riley and Cindy was quiet for a second before Riley said, "D."

"D?" Cindy turned her head confused.

"You get a D on your burglary skills."

"A d? Why I gotta get a D?"

"Because your burglary skills suck! The window you came in was halfway open, you made enough noise for Foxy Brown to hear, plus the garage door was locked _and _you wouldn't have gotten in anyway."

"Like you could do better." Cindy folded her arms across her chest.

"Man, I could break in any house I wanted to I don't care if it's dogs there or security alarms, I'm Young Reezy I got it like that. I got them skills."

"Wanna bet?"

"Bet? Wait hold on. I was speaking theoretically. Like, theoretically I could break in but right now I gotta lay low cause I don't want to go to jail."

"No. Look," Cindy stood up excitedly and paced, "We can break into people's houses we know. Person A will break in and person B will follow the lead of the other, and at the end person b will grade person A. You in, Reezy or you wanna play pussy?"

"Man...I don't know...this seems like something we'd get shot for..." Riley then smiled a devious smile,

"Okay! Let's go!"

"Yeah!"

They both ran out of the garage. Cindy ran ahead of Riley. Riley stopped and grabbed one of their airsoft guns off a shelf in the garage. He put his hands together like he was praying.

"Lord forgive me for messing with these white girls."

~~~~~~~~ At the Dubois' Residence~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jazmine was telling tom how nervous she was and how she felt she was gonna throw up when she goes on stage and everyone's gonna boo her.

"Jazmine. You have nothing to worry about. You're gonna do fine. Nervousness is natural."

"But daddy! What if I freeze up. Like Eminem did in 8 mile. There's no Mekhi Phifer to hype me up!"

"When did you ever watch 8 mile! How—When-WHO is teaching you these things?!"

"Daddy! There's no time for questions! I'm gonna pass out on stage and you want to talk about Eminem and Mekhi Phifer!" Jazmine yelled back at him.

"You know what sweetie you're right. Let me show you your costume I bought you. I'll be right back!"

Jazmine then stood there and thought about herself going onstage and making a fool of herself. She pictured the audience laughing at her hysterically. Riley and Grandad were in the front row holding onto each other for support. Huey had his head down, so no one could see his face. Cindy and her mother were holding their stomachs with laughter. Then she saw a girl in her class that hated her named Justice.

"They're all gonna laugh at you!"

"They're all gonna laugh at you!"

"They're all gonna laugh at you!"

"They're all gonna laugh at you!"

"They're all gonna laugh at you!"

"Jazmine! They're not gonna laugh at you!"

She was snapped out of her day-mare by Tom. Wow. She was never watching Carrie again.

~~~~~~~~15 minutes and a bunch of polyester later~~~~~

Tom and Jazmine were now in the den and Tom had his expensive karaoke machine turned on. The fact that Tom had large speakers, a quality microphone, a giant projection screen showed just how much he enjoyed singing. These objects were high quality and showed just how dedicated Tom was to his hobby.

"Daddy are you sure I have to wear this?"

Jazmine was wearing seventies styled clothes that resembled those of Michael Jackson's when he was a kid. Instead of her hair in two puffs she wore her full-sized afro. Tom wore his standard khaki pants and a pink polo shirt.

"Yeah, sweetie it gives me hope that one day I can follow my dreams..."

Jazmine gives him a look.

"I mean your dreams, sweetie," Tom then at Jazmine and strokes his chin and appears to be thinking deeply, "Let's see. I think we're all good. Though we could use, say, four more kids."

"Yay! I get another brother or sister!"

"No. That's not what that means...although...no no no! Let's just start with the steps first."

"Daddy I only want to sing. Not sing _and_ dance. That's like...super hard. I'm not Beyonce!"

"And I'm not Matthew, but you have to give people a show, Jazmine. People want to be entertained. They want to be dazzled. Lights! Camera! Action! They want to feel like they didn't waste their money on tickets."

"Daddy. The talent show is free!"

"No! Don't think like that, Jazmine. No show is _ever_ free. Don't perform like it is a free show. Perform like it's your last show. You never want to be known as a lazy, sucky performer."

"But daddy! Riley said I was okay. But Huey said I sound like Mickey Mouse on helium!"

"Well you passed the auditions, right? You have to sound good to pass."

"Well...not really." Jazmine looked down and looked nervous.

"What do you mean?"

"Well there's this boy named Blake and he has a tiny crush on me and he was one of the judges and I told him before that I really, really, really wanted to get in...and so I guessed he...made sure I got through."

Tom's face was frozen. He was in a state of shock. He didn't want to think about his barely pre-teen daughter using her feminine wiles already.

"Uh...um...o-okay s-sweetie. Let me be the judge. Go over there and pick a song on the machine." His face was still contorted and his eyes twitched in the slightest.

Jazmine walked over to the machine that she wondered how her dad could afford. She pressed a button and Girls just wanna have fun blared through. Jazmine started dancing. Tom had a vision of Jazmine dancing to this song in her teen years at a party on table tops. He figured that that type of behavior would only lead her in prison to get anally raped. Not taking into the fact that she would be going to a _women's_ prison therefore making the chances of anal rape slim to none.

"Uh...no. Why don't I pick a song for you darling. He then scrolled over to a song that he knew Jazmine loved and would be perfect to suit her high voice. He pressed the play button and 'I wanna be where you are' by Jackson 5 started playing.

"I love this song daddy!"

"I know sweetie. It's age appropriate, voice appropriate" Tom began to whisper to himself, "and best of all no thinly veiled yet obscure sexual references."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile~~~~~~~~

Riley and Cindy go to The Dubois house and try to sneak in through the back so they could break in. As they are walking towards the side of the house, Sarah Dubois, having seen them through the window, opens the door.

"Oh. Riley. Cindy. Hi. What are you two doing here?"

Cindy and Riley looked at each other almost afraid until Riley speaks up.

"Um...we were looking for...Jazmine. We wanted to play. We figured she would be in the garage practicing her singing for the talent show and we wanted to um...distract her to not...you know overwork her voice."

Cindy looked at him as if to say good job.

"Oh, Riley. That's so thoughtful of you. She's in the den with Tom and his giant karaoke machine," she rolled her eyes at this, "He's her coach for the show. He just loves taking on that leadership role _except in the bedroom_," she whispered to herself, "but you can come in and watch if you want."

Cindy and Riley looked at each other panicked.

"Um...that's okay Mrs. Dubois. We...um...know how Tom can be when he wants to win something. Tell Jazmine good luck."

They hurriedly walked back across the street to the Freemans garage.

"Damn. That was close."

"Duh, nigga."

"Whatever, Reezy. We gotta find somebody else's house to break in."

"What? You know what Cindy this is a bad idea. I told you the cops is hot on my ass right now. No

homo. We don't know if people is home if they gon shoot us or what."

"Come on Reezy. I know you ain't scared!"

"No I ain't scared! I just don't want to go to jail." Cindy was deep in thought for a second and thought about something.

"Okay. How about instead of taking turns we just try it one more time so we can have a you know even chance. Let's see if you can do better than me Reezy."

"If I do this then we gon have to make sure the house we use is for somebody who not gon snitch to the police or put a bullet in our ass. And it's probably best they not home either."

"Yeah. Ooh! I just thought about something! We can try my house. Since my dad is on a business trip and my mom is out with her boyfriend."

"What?"

"Don't ask. So...do you wanna? Just one time, Riley. No one is home that's why I came over here. No one will put a bullet in your ass or whatever. I promise. What do you say, reezy?"

Riley thought about it for a second.

"Okay. I guess. But if I get shot or arrested I'mma kill yo white ass."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Tom and Jazmine~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay darling. Let's hear it."

The music starts up and Jazmine begins to sing the famous Jackson 5 song. Tom bobs his head non-rhythmically and raises his eyebrows at some parts and shakes his head in approval in others. When Jazmine is done he applauds.

"Oh. Sweetie pie. That was great but you could really improve on certain aspects."

"Like what?" Jazmine said between clenched teeth.

"Well on the lower parts like the 'did I leave your mind when I was gone', your voice was kind of shaky. So first what we're gonna do now is some vocal exercises and we're gonna put some emphasis on the lower notes so they can be full and rich."

"Full and rich?"

"Yeah. Full and rich. Kind of like Whitney Houston's voice."

He wants me to sing like Whitney Houston? Nigga I'm ten! That's hard as hell! I'm singing a Jackson 5 song. That's what Jazmine felt like saying. But instead all she said was, "Okay, Daddy. Let's practice."

They practiced and practiced. They practiced the dance steps and the singing. Jazmine really didn't want to do the dancing but Tom was being...well...Tom. So she continued and Tom slowly became less and less understanding and patient.

"Daddy. How many times do I have to tell you. I don't want to do the spin!"

"You have to do the spin, Jazmine! You just have to!"

"I'm putting my foot down, daddy. All I want to do is sing and you turn into a monster! You're no better than...than...than...Joe Jackson!"

Tom gasped in shock at being called Joe Jackson as Jazmine ran away. After she storms out of the house she goes to her favorite place.

The Hill.

As she is approaching the tree where she usually sat at she noticed his brown cotton-ball head of hair before anything else. She sat down quietly next to him as he read his book. He didn't even acknowledge her existence.

"Hey."

"Hey," he said without ever looking up from his book. It was quiet for another few minutes before Huey spoke again.

"Haven't seen you around lately."

"Aw. You missed me." He finally looked up to give her a dark look.

"Kidding, Huey. Gosh."

"Jazmine. I told you don't say that word in my presence." Huey wrinkled his nose. Jazmine thought it was cute.

"Yeah. Yeah Yeah. Cause gosh sounds so white blah blah blah Huey's so uptight."

He gave her a look.

"Kidding."

"You seem to be 'kidding' a lot nowadays as well as absent."

"Well I've been practicing. You know for the talent show."

"What are you gonna do for the talent show?"

"Sing. Duh." She looked at Huey as if he had four heads.

"I was having fun practicing until I asked my dad to help me for my performance."

"I can't imagine your pain." It was quiet for a second.

"Huey can you sing?"

Huey looked at Jazmine with the 'Are you stupid' face.

"Technically...everyone can sing."

"Huey! You know what I mean!" He was quiet for a second before saying, "No."

Jazmine looked at him suspiciously.

"Whatever. I may never know the truth."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You'd never tell me or anyone for that matter if you actually could. It shall remain another Huey mystery."

"Whatever."

"Are you going to the talent show?"

"No."

"Why? Don't you want to see me perform? Please, Huey! Please!"

He was quiet for a second as he stared down at the grass before he said, "I'll think about it."

"Okay." Huey and Jazmine sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. He continued to read his book as Jazmine continued to pull the grass out of the ground. She thought about an event that had happened a while back and Huey said something that bothered her to this day. She wanted to know if he meant it or if he was being mean. She decided to ask him.

"Huey? Do I really sound like Mickey Mouse on helium?"

Cindy and Riley arrived at her house. Well...more like the back of her house over a large fence. This time Riley was dressed for the part. He had on black pants, shoes, a long-sleeved black shirt, a black jacket and a black knit cap on his head.

"Okay, Reezy. Go."

"Hush. White girl."

"Stop calling me that!"

"He-he."

Riley attempted to climb over the large fence. He struggled a little at first, wishing for a second that he had his brother's ninja skills. When he finally made it over the fence he began to attempt to break in the house. He used a screwdriver to attempt to break the lock. Since there was no one home, he didn't care about making noise. Then he heard voices coming from inside the house and he turned to look at Cindy who wore an 'I don't know what's going on' expression. The backdoor opened and Riley looked up to see three, large Hispanic men.

"Um...Oh...Cindy I think this is the wrong house. We should go."

One of the men snatched him up and threw Riley over his shoulder. The other grabbed Cindy too.

"Man fuck! Ya'll motherfuckers better put me down this my house! You Stupid motherfuckers!"

"Yeah, right ey! This ain't your home...homes! Besides we just got out of prison and we thought this home was nice...so we took it. Simple as that, ey! This house probably belong to some rich folk who ain't never home, anyway!"

Riley and Cindy were brought downstairs into the living room and tied up on two chairs whose back was touching each other making Riley and Cindy tied up with the same tape. They also put duct tape on their mouths and feet.

The dudes were in the corner arguing. Riley was trying to move and get the tape off of his mouth. Cindy was shaking her head no trying to stop Riley from doing whatever he was gonna do. After a minute he stopped fighting and just sat there.

'Damn. If I wouldn't have went with Cindy then I wouldn't be in this shit. Then again, she would have came home anyways and been by herself. Man I gotta find us a way out of here. Cindy's my homegirl, she was with me through all the bullshit. It seemed like just yesterday when we was running a top notch, high-paying candy business. When Jazmine and Phil punked out she was there with me until the end. We gotta get the hell up outta here. I wonder if I can call Huey some kind of way...Naw...I don't need that nigga. Police...outta the question. Ooh I got a plan. I'mma use something Huey calls _diplomacy_.'

"Look look. We ain't no snitches so you can let us go and we won't snitch to the gay ass police."

"Man, what we look like homes, idiots?"

"Uh..." The shorter of the three walked up to Riley with his gun pointed at the side of his head.

"What fool...you...um...um...Damn! What's that word?"

"Stupid." One of the brothers suggested.

"No, no. The word when somebody pauses or something."

"Reluctant." Cindy suggested.

"No."

"hiatus." Riley suggested.

"That's not funny!" Riley looked confused.

"Hesitant?" The brother spoke again.

"Yeah! That's the word. Hesitant. What what was I using it for again?"

"You was hesitant to let us go, but you reluctantly obliged." Riley said cheekily. 'Man now I see why Huey uses those big words all the time. It make a nigga fell smart as hell.'

"That's not funny!" The man whined and wailed his gun around.

"You know what I've had enough of this smart-mouthed little bastard. I'm gonna make you deep throat these bullets!"

"Pause."

"That's not funny! I know the word now! It's hesitant! H-e-s-i-t-e-n-t."

"Man just let us go. We ain't gon tell nobody. We ain't snitches."

"Yeah plus I got niggas that is looking for me right now and if you kill us they gon come after yo ass! And that'll start a war! And do you want war?! Cause War! Huh! Yeah! What iiiss it good for absolutely nothing! Sing it with me now!" Riley and one of the brothers started singing along with Cindy.

They continued singing for about a minute until the little brother shut that down.

"AY! Shut that shit up, ay? Now we're gonna kill you say your last words." He pointed at Riley when he said that.

Riley started crying.

"Man I never got a chance to tell that ugly girl in my class that I don't like her and that her breath stank! I never got a chance to tell Huey he was a bitch nigga for the last time! I never got to tell Tom that he the bitchiest bitch I ever knew! I never told Grandad that I appreciate all the ass whuppings! I never got a chance to tell all my niggas goodbye! I never got a chance to tell Jazmine that she annoying as fuck and got a big ass head. I never got to tell Cindy that she the best friend I ever had! I'm sorry everybody!" Cindy looked really surprised, then smiled.

The little brother continued to point the gun in his face and suddenly started to laugh along with everybody else in the room.

"What! What the fuck ya'll laughing at! Better not be me! Cause Reezy don't play that shit! I'm hard as hell!" Everyone continued laughing. "Man haven't ya'll ever heard! A thug got feelings too!"

They came over and took off the duct tape from Riley and Cindy.

"Ralph, my dude. Chico, Taco. Thanks for the favor."

"Anything for you lil Homie!"

"What the fuck!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile back at the Dubois house~~~~~~~~~

Jazmine came into the den area and found Tom sitting there with his head hanging down.

"Don't you know I sit around with my head hanging down and I wonder whoooo's loo-ooving youooo Daddy! I finally worked on the 'texture' of my voice like you said and I'm sorry daddy I know you were only trying to help. Can we get back to practicing?"

Tom merely smiled.

"Oh, sweetie. You were actually on key this time."

Jazmine smiled at the back-handed compliment.

~~~~~~~ 7 minutes later~~~~~~

"Okay Jazmine. You step this way." He demonstrated what he wanted her to do.

"Okay daddy." She mimicked him as she practiced the song once again.

"Wow, Jazmine. You sound so much better than before. What did you do?"

"I practiced. A lot. I asked Huey to look up vocal tips and exercises for me."

"Oh. Okay."

Jazmine continued to practice for hours.

"Wow, sweetie. I know you are going to blow them away. I'm so proud of you." Jazmine ran and gave him a hug.

"Wait where are you going?"

"Um...It's like 6 o'clock daddy. I'm going to do my homework with Huey. Like I always do."

"No. Jazmine. We have to practice for at least another couple of hours."

"Daddy, no! I have to do my homework with Huey."

"Why do you _have_ to do it with huey, Jazmine?" Jazmine blushed.

"Because he always helps me with the stuff I don't understand!"

"But, Jazmine you need to practice some-"

"Daddy! Get off my nuts!"

Tom stood there with his mouth wide open in shock. Jazmine went downstairs and into the kitchen. She saw her mom sitting at the counter eating something out of a bowl while reading a magazine with furniture in it.

"Hey, mommy." Jazmine still sounded a little angry and frustrated with her father.

"Hi, sweetie. What's wrong?"

"Daddy."

"Oh, sweetie. What did he do now?"

"He is so controlling. He wants me to practice hours for a freaking 4 minute performance that he already said was perfect. But, no I have to practice some more because I might _forget_. Ugh. Mommy, why is he so difficult?"

"Jazmine. Your father loves to sing. It was his dream. _But_, he figured that he would have guaranteed success in life if he went to law school. But he still likes to live out his dreams in whatever way he can. Right now he is living vicariously through you."

"I guess."

"I'll talk to him sweetie."

"Thank you mommy."

"Do you want some ice cream?"

"Thanks, but dairy will build mucus in my throat making it harder to form notes and will negatively impact my singing performance."

Sarah looked blankly at Jazmine.

"I asked Huey to do some vocal research for me. To, you know, make my voice in tip top shape."

Sarah nodded her head knowingly and smiled. Then she got up and walked away.

Then Jazmine asked herself why her mother was eating ice cream in the evening. It was one of her rules that she would only eat things like that only if it was before 2:00. Something about metabolism and fat. Hmm...

~~~~~~~~~~The day of the talent show~~~~~~~~~~

Jazmine had been rehearsing for weeks now. Tom definitely stayed on her. Thanks to Sarah he wasn't too harsh on her. Jazmine had told all her friends and family about the show.

Jazmine was excited and nervous. All this time she had been spending practicing, she had only time to do homework. She didn't even do it with Huey. As a matter of fact the only time she had seen her friend was in class and it wasn't like they could talk then. Jazmine was still a good girl, despite the fact that she had become more bolder over time. In fact Jazmine was a very passionate person and when someone tried to get in her way of getting something she wanted, she became very assertive and defensive, which is why sometimes she got out of character, When she yelled 'That's some bull' and berated the ref her mother, Sarah was very surprised. When she went off on Huey and caused his rare sad puppy dog eyes, people were surprised. When she talked about the hoes in the videos during Christmas, everyone was surprised. When her dad tried to Joe Jackson her out of a childhood, he was very surprised. So she decided to make everyone surprised some more and give a great performance. The talent show had started about 5 minutes ago and a boy was out there doing tricks with his pet snake. Jazmine was on last. Since the talent show only lasted about 45-50 minutes, she didn't have long. Luckily, Tom was backstage encouraging her.

"Daddy. I'm sooo nervous. What if my voice cracks? What if I fall? Is it okay to picture the audience in their underwear?" Jazmine had watery eyes and looked so nervous she felt as if she was about to bust.

"Sweetie. You're gonna be fine. We've practiced this so much. I bet these kids haven't practiced half as much as you have."

"Yeah. Maybe you're right. Is everyone here?"

"Yup. Your mother, The Freemans, your friend Cindy, and that little girl you play with that keeps calling me Uncle Tom," Tom said in confusion, "Anyways, show them your stuff. Give it all you got. They'll be proud of you either way."

"Okay. You're right, daddy." Tom looked at his watch.

"Ooh. Sweetie. I'll be back! I forgot to give your mother-Never mind," Tom ran away, "I'm gonna die! Don't kill me Sarah!"

Jazmine looked back onstage at Justice Johnson, who was about to perform. Jazmine is usually a nice person, but she concluded a long time ago that Justice is the spawn of Satan. She would constantly make fun of Jazmine's sweetness and kindness. She would do other mean things like once she tripped Jazmine in the lunchroom (which backfired because Jazmine merely fell, while her food went on Justice's lap). And she threw wet toilet paper on her when Jazmine was in the bathroom. Justice doesn't stop there. She plays on Jazmine's insecurities, such as her race and her hair.

Jazmine once expressed to Huey and Cindy her interactions with Justice.

Huey had said, "Don't even worry about that girl Jazmine. She's just mad that she's gonna grow up and be a prostitute and have 5 kids with a guy named John that beats her. Well that's what statistics say about mean girls."

Jazmine looked at him blankly.

Cindy had said, "You want me to beat her? Cause I can get some girls to whup that ass fo' you girl. No problem. No questions asked."

Jazmine, once again, looked blankly in response to the advice she was given.

Right now, Justice is performing and Jazmine has to admit that she sounds good. When it is over Justice walks backstage and sees Jazmine standing there.

"Oh. Hi, Jazmine."

"Hey, Justice."

"I heard you were performing tonight. You won't win. And girl what is wrong with your hair? Does your mother comb it? Eww. Anyways, break a leg. Literally." She walked away with that hyena laugh of hers.

"Aye, girl! Why you bo-legged? That's why people say your breath smell worse than Ruckus's balls! Ha ha!"

Justice gasped and walked away briskly.

Jazmine turned around and saw Riley standing there.

"Riley! What are you doing back here?"

"I came ta use the bathroom. Why you worried about it fo. Shit you letting lil white girls punk you and shit but got the nerve to check me."

"What happened to the bathroom outside the auditorium?"

"Flooded. Some big kid shitted and clogged the toilets." He walked away at that. Wow.

After that kid with the magic hat dripping with egg yolks walked off stage dejectedly it was time for the boy with the puppet to go on. How original are these people? Oh. Yeah. I'm also singing which is another cliché talent show performance. Whatever. At least I'm good.

Just then Tom runs to where Jazmine is.

"Okay, sweetie. It's showtime. Don't worry. You're gonna do great. Picture the audience in their underwear."

"Daddy. That's so cliché. I'll be okay." The announcer, who announces everything in woodcrest, including sports games boxing matches and bikini-jello fights, which Jazmine and the other kids weren't allowed to attend, came on and announced Jazmine.

"_Next up we have little sweet Jazmine Dubois. I hope she can revive this half asleep audience. Because let's face it they are bored out of their minds right about now. I wouldn't be surprised if they just walked out. Anyways without further ado... Here's Jazmine Dubois singing I wanna be where you are."_

Jazmine walked onstage and saw the audience. There were more people than expected. Sh began to get really nervous until she saw him.

Huey. He came.

Not wanting to embarrass herself any further, she stepped up to the mic and let out a Michael-jacksonesque ohh! Then then music started playing and Jazmine began to have fun like her daddy told her.

**Ooh, Can it be I stayed away too long did I leave your mind when I was gone**

Jazmine then locked eyes with Huey at that moment. Instead of feeling intimidated by his intense stare and the words that applied to their current situation, she gained momentum and energy.

**It's not my thing trying to get back but this time let me tell you where I'm at**

**You don't have to worry cause I'm coming back to where I should have always stayed**

**And now I've learned the meaning to your story and it's enough love for me to stay**

The entire audience was clapping and cheering. Jazmine heard shouts like

"Go on girl!"

"Sing it cutie pie!" Courtesy of grandad.

"Yeah! That's my baby!" From her mother. All of this and more made Jazmine even more confident.

**Can it be I stayed away too long did I leave your mind when I was gone**

**It's not my thing trying to get back but this time let me tell you where I'm at**

**I wanna, wanna be where you are (ooh, ahh)**

**Anywhere you are (ahh, ohh)**

**I wanna, wanna be where you are (ooh, ahh)**

**Everywhere you are (ooh, ahh, ohh)**

**Please don't close the door to our future**

**There's so many things we haven't tried I'm gonna love you better than I used to And give you **

**all the love I have inside**

When Jazmine did the spin everyone roared with applause. Wow. Huey was right. White people do love Michael Jackson.

**I wanna, wanna be where you are (ooh,ahh)**

**Any, Any Anywhere you are (ooh,ahh)**

**I wanna, wanna be where you are (ooh,ahh)**

**I gotta, gotta be where you are (ooh, ahh)**

**I wanna, I wanna be**

**I wanna, I wanna be**

**I wanna, I wanna be**

**I wanna, I wanna be**

**I wanna, I wanna be**

She ended it with a long high note. She heard her father backstage shouting, "She sustained it! She sustained it!"

The audience stood up and roared with applause.

~~~~Meanwhile (after the talent show) ~~~~~

After Cindy had congratulated her friend Jazmine on her trophy winning performance.

"I'm sorry, Reezy. It was just a joke."

"Just a joke? T-pain's singing is just a joke. Britney Spears is just a joke. That was more than just a god damn joke. I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that bullshit you pulled. And you and yo homies was laughing at me too. I can't forget that C-Murph."

Cindy pouted and put her head down.

"But...since I'm a g. I would have gotten through that shit anyways. Besides real niggas don't dwell on shit. Come on white girl. Let's go."

Cindy uncharacteristically smiled brightly, then grimaced and pushed Riley playfully on the arm.

"Stop calling me white girl!" Cindy was relieved that her best friend wasn't angry with her anymore. She didn't know what she would do without him. Ain't that many real niggas in Woodcrest.

~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~

Jazmine ran up to Huey after the show. He was walking towards the exit doors by himself. Grandad was talking to some pretty lady and smiling really hard. Riley was play fighting with Cindy and her parents looked like they were in a heated argument. What's up with them? Jazmine pushed that out of her mind and ran up to her friend.

"Huey! Huey!" He turned around and was faced with his permanent scowl.

"So...what did you think of my performance?"

"It was entertaining. You didn't sound like mickey mouse on helium. Maybe Mickey Mouse on autotune."

"Is that a compliment?" Huey looked deep in thought for a second and instead of answering her question, he asked one of his own.

"What made you pick that song?"

"It's my favorite Jackson 5 song. Besides my daddy shot down the rest of the songs."

"What were they?"

"Um...SWV 'Weak'...'Pony' by Ginuwine. I don't understand. I love ponies and I'm pretty sure I'd enjoy riding one."

Huey gave her one of his rare shocked faces.

"Jazmine...don't ever tell your father what you just said. He will lock you down until college."

Jazmine looked confused, then she just shrugged and they continued to walk out.

Cues Boondocks flute music and ending credits

Well...Read and Review...This one was more Jazmine centric I 3 Jazmine...there will be a lot more chapters to come some already written, some Huey-Caesar centric, some Riley, Tom, Grandad, Jazmine etc. But some chapter titles you should look out for goes like this:

"The Other Side"

"The Death of Travis, The arrival of Caesar" *Can't wait for this one!

"Bambi ain't got nothing on me"

"Boyz in the Wood/Straight outta Woodcrest"

"Almond Boys"

"Grandad's Revenge"

"Children of The Woodcrest"

"I'm gonna get you cracker"

"The neighbor's dog is on fire"

And what's up with Tom and Sarah. Don't worry you'll find out. Wink. Wink.


	4. Chapter 4

"The death of Travis, The arrival of Caesar"

**This chapter was pretty fun to write and also sad. Of course those familiar with this particular case will get who this is about right off the bat. Some of the things in here are added and not necessarily facts of the case. Since this is Boondocks there will be humor and seriousness. Offense level on this chapter on a scale of 1 to 10 is about a 2. Also I don't know why but when I read 'John's' dialogue he sounds like Dan the Security man. Yeah that asshole from the finale. I know weird. Not completely happy with this but hey...at least it has Caesar in it...lol**

Caesar moves in and he helps Huey stop the neighborhood watch from being

super vigilant.

A tall, white old man with a large beer belly is coming out of his car and turns to go into the house and sees a tall, black guy walking down the street. He rushes inside and grabs his gun. He also grabs his cordless phone off the hook and dials 911.

"Hello 911. What's your emergency?"

"Yeah. I'm calling in on a code black."

"John. Is that you? I told you not to call here again. This is your 118th call."

The man we now know as John is outside of his house walking down the sidewalk as the boy is walking about 20 feet in front of him slowly, while looking around.

"There's a black guy outside. He's trying to steal stuff."

"How do you know this John? Is he breaking in anywhere?'

"No."

"Is he carrying a weapon?"

"No."

"Well...what exactly is he doing?"

"Walking down the street. Talking on the phone. He's shaking. He must be on drugs. I bet it's that crack. I heard it's the new thing among those people."

"Well it's raining John. He might be cold. Go get some sleep. Call us if anything _actually_ happens. In the meantime, go watch Adult swim, eat a bowl of cereal, Compose a melody. Go bang your wife. But for god's sake stop antagonizing black people."

"Antagonizing black people? What do you take me for. I'm not a racist."

"Really...okay I believe you, you're not racist you're just not fond of people with dark skin. That's all. It's completely _not_ obvious what with the calls about black people with guns riding past your house." The operator, who was white, and sarcastic had gotten these kinds of calls from John before.

"Hey. They were eying my house!"

"They were cops on patrol! My point is whenever you see black people you treat them like Americans treat Muslims on a plane. Face it you don't like people of color. Of any color."

"Hey. I happen to be half Latino. Well... I'm more like a third Spanish. And 2/3 white. But on all my forms I fill out Caucasian. Anyways this punk is down the street about 6 houses down. These assholes always get away with it. Fucking Coons. Since I'm in the neighborhood watch it's my god given right to ask him questions."

"That's not a god given right. Or a right at all. Wait! You're following him?! John listen to me. There will be serious consequences if you follow him. If anything happens the fact that you followed him will weigh heavily against you. The justice system _will_ arrest you...Well...on a good day they will. Promise me you'll go back inside and _not_ follow this young man. Promise." He hears John sigh.

"Okay. You're right. I won't follow him. I'm about to go back inside and play angry birds on my phone maybe watch a little porn.."

"Okay. You swear you won't follow him?"

"I swear I won't follow him. I _promise_. As god is my witness I won't follow him."

~~~~~~~~~5 minutes later~~~~~~~~~

A boy who appears to be a teenager is seen running down a street wearing a gray hoodie and something large in his pocket. There's a portly guy chasing after him.

"Man! What the hell do you want!" The boy shouted at the man.

"What the hell you trying to steal or shoot boy!"

"What!"

"What's that in your pocket?!"

"It's m&m's and a _damn_ Snapple! Stop following me punk!" The boy leaned in menacingly and then leaned back.

"What's that?! You trying to kill me!" The portly dude slips and falls on the ground. He hits the back of his head on a fire extinguisher.

"Look at what you did to me! Now I'm bleeding! Oh you thugs think you can come here and steal and/or kill innocent people!"

"What! Nigga I just came from the store!"

"If you don't stop I'll be forced to shoot!"

"Stop what!"

"Whatever you're about to do!"

"So, you're gonna shoot me for something you think I might do though you don't have sufficient evidence to back those assumptions up except for the fact that I'm black?"

"Boy! You think you're smart?"

The boy, fearing the worst acted upon instinct and punched the man in the face. He swung back with the head of the gun. The boy ducked and hit the man in the gut and he fell. The fearful teenager banged the man's head on the ground and reached for the gun that was slipping out of the man's hands. When he had it in his grasp the man swung and hit him and grabbed the gun. John stood up and stood over Travis with the gun in his hand.

"Help me! Somebody help me!"

"I'm sorry, son. It was god's plan."

_**The neighborhood watch has increasingly gotten bolder over the years. Between the fake wanna be cops and the actual crooked police black people, rather black men, in particular were profiled and always seemed to get the short end of the stick. Three weeks after Travis Malcolm's death, the public was shocked and appalled that Truman was not even a suspect. People are outraged at the laziness of the police force to thoroughly investigate the case. Travis Malcolm's **_**dead****_ body was tested for drugs and alcohol, while John Truman's very alive body was not. They talk about how good of a citizen Truman is, showing their bias for the man. For the first time in forever black people and even white people were outraged and arranged protests and petitions._**

**Investigators are now studying the case of an African-american boy, Travis Malcolm who was gunned down by a member of the neighborhood watch named John Truman. Witnesses report hearing gunshots late last night and some even saw what they describe as a scuffle between two men...**

"Man that shit is messed up. That could have been me. Just because a nigga black he gotta be a crook. I mean in my case that's true cause I'm a G. But that's still fucked up. He went out like a real nigga though. He like Tupac or something cause everybody is mourning his death and stuff when they ain't even know him."

Huey just sat there on the couch with his permanent scowl even worse at the news.

"I knew I heard gunshots earlier. In a neighborhood this quiet you can hear an _ass_ drop in the middle of the street. That poor boy. This reminds of the old days when we were attacked by water hoses and lynched for looking at white women. Racism is back like those snap-back hats I hear those punk ass rappers talk about. They need to be talking about going to school with they uneducated asses. But yeah, what happened to that boy was a shame. God bless his family. Mmm-mmm-mmm. Damn shame. I don't want to see y'all lil' asses out after the sun go down!" Both Robert's grandsons ignored him.

"So Huey. Are you gonna organize a protest? Sound like something your gay ass would do."

"Boy! What I told you about all that cursing."

"I curse all the time grandad and you never say nothing. You must not hear me. Man you getting old."

"Boy! I ain't never to old to whoop your lil' disrespectful ass. In my day we showed respect..."

Huey tuned them and their bickering out. He wanted to join protests but he figured the justice system had made their minds up already about who was guilty. You can't fight the future. Don't waste your life trying. He couldn't help but think that it could have been him or Riley or some other black kid. The man who did it lived about 20 houses down. In the middle of his thinking, Huey a noise. It was faint but there.

"Do ya'll hear that?" Huey leaned forward and cocked his head to the side to hear better.

"Uh oh. Huey at it again. First he have an imaginary friend, then he hears things. Grandad it's time to put that nigga in a mental institution. Let him have protests in there."

"Riley, shut your dumb ass up." Riley looked at grandad who continued to look at the news on the screen.

"What? You hear that Grandad! Man, why do I get in trouble for saying it but Huey don't! Man you be showing favorites. That's not cool Grandad."

"Boy don't question my authoritaaay... And you are a dumbass. Now shut your mouth."

Then they all turned their head at the sound of shouting and feet moving. The Freemans raced to the door and looked out. They saw about one hundred people in the street with signs and chanting something that sounded like 'Justice for Travis'.

"What the hell! They better not walk on my lawn!"

"They're probably headed for the police station."

Just then they saw a boy walking on the sidewalk in the other direction that the crowd was going in. He was black about Huey's age and he had dreads. He turned his head and saw the Freemans in their doorway and waved.

"Black people." The boy mumbled. He walked over to them. "Hey. You all are like the only black people for miles."

"What's up." Huey said.

"Ay, Is you a real nigga?"

"Oh, lord. Another nappy head around here." Grandad shook his head.

"My name is Michael Caesar. Everybody calls me Caesar."

"Huey."

"I'm Riley but errbody calls me Riley Escobar or Young Reezy or H.R. Paperstacks. And Louis Rich and Pillsbury dough-boy. You can call me Riley if you want though."

"No one calls you any of that."

"Shut up, Huey. You a hater. Hating ass nigga."

"So. Do you live around here?"

"Yeah. Me and my family moved here yesterday." By then Grandad had returned to the chair in the living room.

"Ay! Ya'll come inside here and close my door. Wasting all my damn heat!"

The three boys walked inside and Riley sat on the floor to play his game.

"So...where are you from?"

"Where I'm from?" Caesar stood up and put his hands up above his head and started shaking his dreads in an excited motion.

"Ay, man. You okay?"

"BROOKLYN!" Everyone in the room had their eyes on him. Caesar stopped his frantic motions and looked around at the people whose eyes was on him. He looked sheepish."Sorry. I'm from Brooklyn. I feel compelled to do that."

"I understand."

"So what's your last name, Huey?"

"That's a gay question." Riley said from his position on the floor.

"Freeman."

"Wait, You're Huey Freeman?! The domestic terrorist! My mama told me about watching who I befriend. First we move in next door to a racist killer now I befriend a godless, terrorist who hates the United States and is-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa! None of that is true. Well, actually I really don't believe in god at least not the god portrayed in the bible, I'm a retired domestic terrorist, and I don't hate the United states I hate the crooked government."

"Oh. So you're not out to bomb the U.S.?"

"No."

"You're not friends with members of Al Queda?"

"Not that I know of."

"You don't have radical beliefs and strong hate towards George Bush?"

"Guilty as charged. But then again, who doesn't?"

"You're not trying to have Obama assassinated?"

"No."

"Well...the government lied."

"That's surprising because...?"

"Ha ha. You know Huey we just may get along well. Are there any more black people in the neighborhood?"

"There is a black family across the street. I use the term black loosely though."

"Why?"

"You'll see when you meet them."

Just then the door bursts open and Jazmine comes running through. She stops in front of Huey wearing a 'Justice for Travis' shirt and blue shorts.

"Huey! Huey! Are you gonna protest for Travis Malcolm!"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not."

"Why? You always want to protest for something. Sometimes its not even for important stuff. Now there is a cause to fight for and you don't want to protest. What's wrong Huey. Why won't you protest?"

"I just don't Jazmine. How many times do I have to tell people. I'm retired."

"But-"

"No."

Hearing the finality in his tone she sits down next to Huey and pouts. Then she turns her head and sees Caesar.

"Hi. I'm Jazmine. Who are you?"

"I'm Michael Caesar. People call me Caesar. I just moved in down the street."

"Oh. Well I live across the street! Where did you move from?"

Caesar is about to stand up but Huey quickly says, "Brooklyn."

"Ooh. New York. I've always wanted to go there."

"Trust me. It's not all its cracked up to be. Especially for people like you."

"People like me?"

"Yeah. Nice. Innocent people."

"How do you know I'm innocent. I could be the meanest person here. Even meaner than Huey."

Huey turned and looked at her with a blank expression.

"Sorry." Jazmine chuckled nervously. "Anyways there's a protest tomorrow by the police station for Travis Malcom. You guys should come."

"_I'm_ not going."

"Huey! There was an innocent black teenager killed because he was walking down the street in a predominantly white neighborhood."

"First of all Jazmine. We don't even know if he's innocent yet. Yes the police show favoritism towards Truman. Yes Truman followed him after calling 911 for a code black. Yes Travis was unarmed. But we don't know any more than that. We can't go around protesting about justice for him if we're not 100% sure he's innocent. And since when do you care so much about protesting and such?"

"I learned from you, Huey! You always tell me to stand up for what I believe in and that it's not enough to _**just**_ believe. We have to show our beliefs through our actions, by protesting and petitioning. The petition for Travis was signed by _millions_! The murder could have been prevented if he wouldn't have followed him! Huey, you or Riley could have been walking down the street in a hooded shirt. All Truman saw was _**black**_. As a matter of fact, Caesar could have walked to the store and walked home in the rain squinting his eyes and looking around because he just moved here and was unfamiliar with the neighborhood and been shot. Is that what you believe in Huey? Letting innocent black people get shot?!" Jazmine stormed away into the kitchen.

"Jazmine where are you going?" Huey asked in an aggravated, yet monotone voice.

"I need juice!" It was quiet for a few seconds then Riley turned around and looked at Huey and snickered.

"Well," Caesar started, "She told you."

"Bout time." Riley said from the floor.

Huey rolled his eyes and grabbed the remote and flipped it on the News.

"Hello I am Julia Greene and today I will be interviewing Jeffrey, the brother of John Truman. How are you Jeffrey?"

"I'm fine ma'm."

"So what do you think about all of this? The case, the death of a seventeen year old boy, and your brother's actions?"

"Well, it's unfortunate but I know my brother wouldn't go looking for someone to kill, he had to be defending himself."

"What about the fact that Travis was unarmed and your brother had a weapon?"

"Well...my brother brought a weapon to defend himself if needed and obviously it was needed."

"Do you think this had anything to do with race?"

"No."

"Is your brother racist?"

"No. My brother isn't racist against blacks. He has black friends. He has nothing against blacks or any other race."

"Well on John's Facebook he is seen ranting about Mexicans. Calling them wetbacks which is a racial slur. There's also a photo-shopped picture of him and smokey the bear with a flamethrower with a caption saying you too can prevent Mexicans as he set said Mexican people on fire at the U.S.-Mexican border. Is that not racist?"

"No ma'm. That picture was just for fun and wetbacks is a friendly term. It's like saying homie. Kind of like the blacks and the N-word."

"Why do you refer to them as 'the blacks'? Why not black _people_?"

"...I don't see what one has to do with the other."

Shows the people at home's reaction. A black family gasps, a white family look shocked, Huey raises his eyebrows, Grandad shook his head, Riley picked his nose in despair, Caesar looked sad, and a man with a white cone on his head is laughing hysterically.

**We have breaking news, currently the police chief of Lumbarg county is speaking on the Case of Travis Malcolm.**

"**Well we have looked at all aspects of the case and we've tried to find out what exactly happened. We have no reason to believe that Mr. Truman is guilty of 2nd degree murder. He is an upstanding citizen. The son of a judge. It is very unlikely that he would shoot an unarmed teenager because of his skin color. We are sorry for the Malcolm family's loss. We will try our best to solve this case and search for justice where it is needed. Thank you have a great day."**

"You know, with all the things I see and hear going on today..sometimes it feels like we've gone back in time..." Everyone looked at grandad shaking his head.

"Man I hate these dumb ass crackas. Killing people cause they black! That's some gay bullshit!"

Grandad grabbed the remote and changed the channel.

"Well it's 6 o'clock. I gotta go. Bye Huey. Bye Riley. _Bye Caesar_." She said Caesar's name with extra emphasis and cheeriness, attempting to make him feel welcome.

"Bye, Jazmine." Caesar said with the same tone. Huey merely raised his eyebrows. Riley chuckled.

Huey turned to Caesar.

"I got an idea."

**To be continued... What is Huey's idea? Review and you shall find out later. (Awhile actually)**

**I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions. Anger, sadness, silliness, etc. Review Btw...I added and changed a few things so if there is something that didn't happen in the 'situation' then I made it up...Btw is there someone famous named Travis Malcolm...cause it sounds so familiar?**

We want justice, end your hate!


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